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The Role Of Self
Esteem
 Each
and every day we're bombarded with a myriad of choices.
The choices we make and therefore the quality of life we lead,
is in part, dependant on our perception of ourselves - our self
esteem. If we like who we are, our choices reflect the self
confidence, self respect and self worth we feel. If we don't
like who we are, our choices are a reflection of self doubt, a
lack of self respect and worth. Consequently, we can make
decisions that are not always in our best interests. That might
include allowing others to treat us poorly, letting them impose
unreasonably on our time, or manipulate us in other ways. Even
though we might
be aware of what's happening at the time, we can't seem to find
the courage to stand up for ourselves.
Research shows the most powerful influence on self esteem is
the style of parenting during formative years. Parents who are critical, abusive or
dismissive are a source of emotional disturbance to vulnerable children. The
child comes to believe that who they are, is not good enough.
That if they were different in some way, or if they tried
harder, only then would they be loved and accepted.
Of course
there can be other influences that undermine self esteem.
Criticism of a very personal nature from teachers, peers,
coaches, a boss or supervisor can inflict emotional wounds that
may take years to overcome if a person is psychologically
vulnerable.
Low self esteem and
anxiety go hand-in-hand.
Self worth that's based on the approval of others inevitably
causes one to feel vulnerable and anxious. "What if they
don't like me? What if they realise how
stupid/incompetent/boring I am? What if.........?" It's
little wonder a person chooses to stay in a bad relationship or
job rather than risk being exposed as the flawed person
they believe they are.
'Seeing The Choices' is an article about self
esteem written by Carolyn Barker and first published in the Panic Anxiety Disorder
Association newsletter.
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